John Mellencamp Ordered to Change "Little Pink Houses" Lyrics

WASHINGTON—A newly signed executive order will require John Mellencamp to release a revised version of his 1983 hit single "Little Pink Houses" with the reference to "vacation[ing] down at the Gulf of Mexico" removed from the song's penultimate verse, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt announced today. "When President Donald J. Trump acted decisively to right an historical wrong," Ms. Leavitt said, visibly fighting back tears, "by ordering that the waters between the Florida and Yucatán Peninsulas be renamed to Mare Nos—I mean the Gulf of America, he knew there would be some loose ends. This order merely ties up one of those loose ends."

When asked by a reporter from the Bloomington Herald-Times about the appropriateness of a President directing a singer-songwriter's artistic expression by legal fiat, an angry Leavitt replied, "Look. If Billy Mack can change the words to 'Love Is All Around' in a deliberate attempt to grab the UK's number one Christmas song," referring to the fictional aging rock star played by Bill Nighy in the 2003 film Love Actually, "then Mr. Cougar can show a little respect to his country and to his President by changing one little verse of one song," referring to the real aging rock star's erstwhile pseudonym.

"I mean, how hard can it be?," she said, stepping out from behind the lectern and breaking into song.

Well, there's people and more people
A nonzero fraction of whom are named Erica
Go to work in some high rise
And vacation down at the Gulf of America
Ooh, yeah

John Mellencamp couldn't be reached for comment, but a spokesman said, "This appears to be yet another situation where John fights authority and authority always wins."





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