TroopBnB
I wrote this Borowitz/Onion-style satire several years ago. A friend brought up the topic of the poor, unloved Third Amendment, so I'm republishing it here. Breaking: White House Unveils TroopBnB WASHINGTON—The White House today announced an innovative new approach to military housing. Dubbed TroopBnB, the plan will require all US homeowners to register and fill out a questionnaire on the number of residents in their home and the number of bedrooms. Any bedrooms deemed to be spare would be made available on an as-needed basis for temporary troop housing. "Americans routinely open their homes to exchange students and minor league ballplayers," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders explained in a press briefing earlier today, "the least they could do is to support our troops by extending the same courtesy." When asked if the administration considered the Third Amendment before drafting this plan, Ms. Sanders said, "You bet your sweet bippy we d