Mets to Replace Skipper Buck Showalter
NEW YORK—Following a disappointing wild card series loss to the San Diego Padres after a 101-win regular season, the New York Mets announced that manager Buck Showalter will not be back for the 2023 season. Mike "The My Pillow Guy" Lindell will assume the duties of manager, effective immediately. "We'd like to thank Buck Showalter for his service to this organization," Mets General Manager Billy Eppler said, "but in the end, he just couldn't seal the deal. That bit with having the umpire check [Padres pitcher Joe] Musgrove's ears was, if I may be so blunt, bush league." Asked if Lindell's lack of experience was a concern, Eppler replied, "What lack of experience? Mike is a legend. When it comes to batshit crazy accusations of the other side cheating, Mike is like nothing the Major Leagues have ever seen." Despite the temporal proximity to Halloween, the ghost of Billy Martin did not respond to repeated requests for comment.